Tuesday, June 28, 2011


I never understood why God told the Israelites that they couldn't eat pork or keep pigs.  I mean lets face it.  Pork is AWESOME!  You got bacon for BLTs.  Ham for Easter (which is ironic considering the holiday is in celebration of a Jew).  Sausage gravy and biscuits.  Pulled pork sandwiches.  RIBS!  It definitely wasn't God protecting them from a foul tasting beast.  Some argue that it was because pigs are filthy.  Not true.  Pigs are filthy if they are forced to live in filthy conditions.  You know what's filthy?  Chickens are filthy but perfectly Kosher.  So why on Earth did God forbid the Jews from eating or touching pork?  I know the answer.  CLARK.  If the Israelites had had one CLARK in every herd of pigs they tended then they would have spent 80 years wandering the wilderness instead of 40 trying to find their pigs.  If they had had one CLARK they would never have won any battles because they were so tired from building new contraptions to keep him in.  Just one CLARK in every pig herd would have cause the entire spiritual down fall of a nation because the ANGER that ensued from trying do deal with wily pigs.  Yep.  God knows what He's doing.  He loved the Israelites so much he forbade pigs.  But they never had a BLT.  It's all worth it for a BLT.  Right?

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